I am someone who came to my recognition of my BDSM orientation much later than some people do.  But one of the wonderful things about suddenly realizing that there were women called DOMINANTS in this world is that a flood of aspects of my life, my personality and my experiences suddenly all made sense.

Being dominant explained many elements of who I am, and knowing I was not an oddity (OK, maybe society would call me an oddity, but in the BDSM world, I am a recognized type, understood) was immensely gratifying.

But one aspect of my domme personality that I have not yet blogged about is how, throughout my life, there are what you might call psychic elements that link me to domination, or my domme self.  It is often something as simple as this.  I get off the phone with a client and tell him I'll expect him to be an obedient slave.  Then, moments later, I turn to a mainstream women's magazine like Cosmopolitan, flip it open and find myself looking at an article headline that reads "How to Make Your Man a Devoted Slave". 

I usually laugh, look up at the sky and say, "Yes, thanks for reminding me with these little signs that I am a domme and that it's part of the plan."

But here is an example that I found almost chilling, really.  So I will tell it to you.  I have a family member I love a lot who does not live near Chicago, so we speak on the phone at least once a week.  She is old-fashioned and doesn't pay much attention to her dreams.  But in this conversation she said, "Oh I had a dream about you.  It was so strange.  We were both trying to get into some kind of sports stadium and, as dreams do, it had a ridiculous element.  They checked everybody's shoes before you were let into the stadium.  We had our tickets, but when they looked down, they saw that your shoes were not properly shined.  So they would not let you into the stadium."

"You mean, old-fashioned black shoe polish?  But I don't wear those kinds of shoes.  I'm usually in sneakers if I go to sports event."

"I know, I know, but like I said, it was weird.  Yes, the old fashioned kind of black shoe polish."

"So then what happened?" I asked, thinking it sounded like a kinda stupid dream.  But hey, if I was in it, I wanted to hear how it turned out, egotist that I am.

"So then we wandered around, looking to get your shoes shined.  There were these shoeshine booths, like you see in train stations, where you could just pay to get them shined.  You had done everything right, you had your ticket, you had money for shoe shine, but somehow we just could not get anyone to shine your shoes for you.  It was weird!  And I felt it was very unfair, that it was a stupid rule. You shouldn't have been kept out just because of their stupid shoe shine rule."

"But I suppose your shoes were shined properly?" I asked.

"Well, yes."

So after I hung up the phone, I tried to analyze the dream.  Since her shoes were shined, it probably represented that she somehow knew she was following society's norms for a woman, right?  But I wasn't "properly shined", in the terms of the dream, right?  Did this refer to my tomboy childhood, where I rarely brushed my hair and scampered around unkempt like a boy....?

Pondering these thoughts, I turned to my stack of unread magazines, and pulled a TimeOut Chicago magazine from May from the pile.  The first thing I opened it to was an article on IML, which is the International Mr. Leather convention that occurs in Chicago at the end of May, so I eagerly started reading.  (I had not attended this year -- was out of town -- but their vendor's market is a great place to buy BDSM equipment at good prices.)  Anyhow, the second paragraph of the article goes into something called the Ms. Bootblack contest.  This is an element of BDSM I was unaware of, but in the leather community, there are Bootblacks, who are submissives or slaves who will shine your shoes WHILE YOU ARE WEARING THEM and thus express their servitude by shining up your boots as a slave, I suppose, in the military or, in this case, the leather community would do.  It was an interview with a woman who had won the Ms. Bootblack competition.

So the dream about my shoes not being properly shined.... is immediately followed by an article about the Bootblack aspect of BDSM.

I put the magazine down and thought, well, ya got me by surprise again.  Touche!

Do you have almost psychic connections to your BDSM self, where, you're in the vanilla world and some whiff of BDSM sneaks into that side of your life, unbidden, to surprise you?

These things happen to me ALL THE TIME.  When I am out with vanilla people I often have to bite my tongue when someone either says, does or refers to something related to BDSM. 

Keeps us on our toes.

Stay obedient, and if you're dreaming about Me, ha ha ha, that's your problem, not mine, isn't it?  Poor thing.

Mistress Aubrey

 

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