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Mistress Aubrey's Thoughts
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In keeping with the holiday spirits, I had a nice, ass-warming spanking session today with a dear regular client.
With the joys of the holidays in the air, I thought he would be able to take a really harsh ass-whippin', and so in preparation for our session, I pulled out some of my most serious, wooden spanking paddles. I lit a couple of candles to flicker in the dark corners of the room.
But strangely enough, once he got in from the snowy cold, and got dressed in the pretty cross-dressing things I usually put him in, he turned out to be a bit sensitive. He brought some switches he had found under the snow, to whip his ass with. But I really only was able to switch his ass briefly before he called out for mercy.
What can you make of that? All talk and no "Can take whatever you dish out, Mistress" in him today!
I then put him in bondage on a red wooden chair and made him sit there and think about his weaknesses. Made him think about how he was not able to handle the amount of pain on his ass that I had intended to deliver.
Discipline is an important element in life. One must not become undisciplined. Ever!
But he ultimately made me proud. After some initial whining about how sore his ass was, he settled down into silence. I sat there, reading a book, and behind the black blindfold I had placed over his eyes, I could tell he was probably wondering what book I was reading. But he didn't dare to disturb me by asking. He sat obediently in silence. From time to time, he would politely ask for a sip of water from his nearby water bottle, but that was all. He understood the difference in our importance. Me = to be left undisturbed. Him = to be quiet and kept in his place.
He finally started to get it right. Slave is here to serve Mistress. Mistress is here to do exactly as she pleases.
I let him go with some teasing, ha ha ha, and he was reluctant to say goodbye for 2009. After all, the New Year starts soon, so this will probably be my last blog entry for 2009 and I'll continue the fun and spankings and DOMINANCE in 2010.
Have a wonderful holiday and keep dreaming of Mistress!
Stay obedient--
Mistress Aubrey
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Posted by Domina Aubrey at
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Mistress has been up to her usual tricks. I recently had a new client who was very unsure of himself but polite and respectful. He thought he could handle a good, hard spanking.
So I draped him over my lap on my couch. He was practically shaking with nervousness. He had a nice body, not too muscular, not too skinny, just right.
I slapped his ass a few times to warm him up. He handled that pretty well.
But when I took in hand my small leather paddle and started to warm up his ass, he wriggled and squirmed, until I had to hold tightly onto his shoulders with my left hand. "Stop moving around!" I ordered.
He looked at me, turning his head around. "But that hurt!"
"I know," I said. "It's supposed to." I had to hold back a smile, because he seemed so sensitive that any kind of laughing at him would have broken his will. Poor thing. I withheld my laughter, but believe Me, I was laughing inside.
He turned around to look forward, and resigned himself to enduring whatever punishment was forthcoming at my hands.
I started off easy with him, believe me. But I'm afraid I got into it, and when Mistress gets into it, she can really turn the ass from white to pink to burning, red-apple red.
HOW NICE!!! I enjoyed watching his ass get pinker and pinker, then red. All the while he was holding back his cries and then, as I went along, he started to burst out here and there with an "Oh!" or "OW!!"
It was a lot of fun. Then, I stopped. I let him rest for a while. He seemed exhausted, and I know it is very draining to hold off the sexual energy and excitement while at the same time, resisting the pain that builds and builds and builds and BUILDS.
To reward him, I allowed him to sit before me and massage my feet. He did a so-so job. This is often the sign of a happily married man who is never called upon by a demanding, bitchy woman to serve Her needs. How do women get by without foot massages, I wonder? For me, they are one of the great joys of life. Like an orgasm, but different. But I know that certain lines of energy and nerves in the foot are definitely connected to the sexual energy of our body. Without question, at least for myself.
So, as he massaged my feet, I grew more and more generous-minded with the poor boy.
For his final spanking, I put him up on my spanking horse, where he relaxed into a sub space that nearly replicated sleep. His eyes were half shut and he was silent. I started with soft spankings with a wooden paddle, then harder, then soft again, back and forth, changing up the force and energy.
He floated away and off into the wild blue yonder. When I was done spanking him for the last time, he sighed. When he sat up from the spanking horse, he almost was a little dizzy, because he had been transported away.
I wanted to spank him much harder, but Mistress is humane, in her way. I knew that he needed a softer level of pain to get him to float above the earth, ha ha ha.
I want you to be good, give your woman a foot massage that shows some SKILL in your fingertips, not too hard but not so faint that it's worthless. Massage her feet as you'd wish she would massage your own body, with some passion in the fingertips.
Now, there, you've got your marching orders. Mistress is accustomed to being obeyed.
I hope you're having a great autumn season. While I miss the leaves as they turn color and fall to the ground, and the trees all become bare, I know this is a wonderful time of year, for spankings and even harder things that will go unmentioned here. Be good.
Mistress Aubrey
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Posted by Domina Aubrey at
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I am someone who came to my recognition of my BDSM orientation much later than some people do. But one of the wonderful things about suddenly realizing that there were women called DOMINANTS in this world is that a flood of aspects of my life, my personality and my experiences suddenly all made sense.
Being dominant explained many elements of who I am, and knowing I was not an oddity (OK, maybe society would call me an oddity, but in the BDSM world, I am a recognized type, understood) was immensely gratifying.
But one aspect of my domme personality that I have not yet blogged about is how, throughout my life, there are what you might call psychic elements that link me to domination, or my domme self. It is often something as simple as this. I get off the phone with a client and tell him I'll expect him to be an obedient slave. Then, moments later, I turn to a mainstream women's magazine like Cosmopolitan, flip it open and find myself looking at an article headline that reads "How to Make Your Man a Devoted Slave".
I usually laugh, look up at the sky and say, "Yes, thanks for reminding me with these little signs that I am a domme and that it's part of the plan."
But here is an example that I found almost chilling, really. So I will tell it to you. I have a family member I love a lot who does not live near Chicago, so we speak on the phone at least once a week. She is old-fashioned and doesn't pay much attention to her dreams. But in this conversation she said, "Oh I had a dream about you. It was so strange. We were both trying to get into some kind of sports stadium and, as dreams do, it had a ridiculous element. They checked everybody's shoes before you were let into the stadium. We had our tickets, but when they looked down, they saw that your shoes were not properly shined. So they would not let you into the stadium."
"You mean, old-fashioned black shoe polish? But I don't wear those kinds of shoes. I'm usually in sneakers if I go to sports event."
"I know, I know, but like I said, it was weird. Yes, the old fashioned kind of black shoe polish."
"So then what happened?" I asked, thinking it sounded like a kinda stupid dream. But hey, if I was in it, I wanted to hear how it turned out, egotist that I am.
"So then we wandered around, looking to get your shoes shined. There were these shoeshine booths, like you see in train stations, where you could just pay to get them shined. You had done everything right, you had your ticket, you had money for shoe shine, but somehow we just could not get anyone to shine your shoes for you. It was weird! And I felt it was very unfair, that it was a stupid rule. You shouldn't have been kept out just because of their stupid shoe shine rule."
"But I suppose your shoes were shined properly?" I asked.
"Well, yes."
So after I hung up the phone, I tried to analyze the dream. Since her shoes were shined, it probably represented that she somehow knew she was following society's norms for a woman, right? But I wasn't "properly shined", in the terms of the dream, right? Did this refer to my tomboy childhood, where I rarely brushed my hair and scampered around unkempt like a boy....?
Pondering these thoughts, I turned to my stack of unread magazines, and pulled a TimeOut Chicago magazine from May from the pile. The first thing I opened it to was an article on IML, which is the International Mr. Leather convention that occurs in Chicago at the end of May, so I eagerly started reading. (I had not attended this year -- was out of town -- but their vendor's market is a great place to buy BDSM equipment at good prices.) Anyhow, the second paragraph of the article goes into something called the Ms. Bootblack contest. This is an element of BDSM I was unaware of, but in the leather community, there are Bootblacks, who are submissives or slaves who will shine your shoes WHILE YOU ARE WEARING THEM and thus express their servitude by shining up your boots as a slave, I suppose, in the military or, in this case, the leather community would do. It was an interview with a woman who had won the Ms. Bootblack competition.
So the dream about my shoes not being properly shined.... is immediately followed by an article about the Bootblack aspect of BDSM.
I put the magazine down and thought, well, ya got me by surprise again. Touche!
Do you have almost psychic connections to your BDSM self, where, you're in the vanilla world and some whiff of BDSM sneaks into that side of your life, unbidden, to surprise you?
These things happen to me ALL THE TIME. When I am out with vanilla people I often have to bite my tongue when someone either says, does or refers to something related to BDSM.
Keeps us on our toes.
Stay obedient, and if you're dreaming about Me, ha ha ha, that's your problem, not mine, isn't it? Poor thing.
Mistress Aubrey
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Posted by Domina Aubrey at
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I just spent 45 minutes on hold today in an attempt to renew an ad that I usually have posted on a website for pro dommes. So if any of my interested subs wonder, "Hmmm, why isn't Mistress Aubrey still listed on this particular ad website?" I wanted you dears to know that I might not bother staying on hold yet again. I might just let the ad expire since it requires such patience to pay for it to be renewed....
This caused me to think about how I have evolved as a pro domme over the nearly five years that I've been a pro domme. As we all know, some dommes come and go quickly, like a flash in the pan.
For me, pro domination is a joy and privilege, so I have no plans to go away from professional sessioning. I would miss it a great deal and besides, getting paid to have FUN is just too good to pass up!!!!
However, I've noticed that I have indeed changed in my attitude towards new clients or clients who start to forget that the domme is the one in charge.
While I have major, inner enthusiasm for domination, I just don't have the patience that I once had with clients who I do not know who call and wish to talk, talk, talk. I often simply don't return phone calls any more, if the call is from someone new who simply says, "Hello, I saw your website call me back."
Or someone who just doesn't seem to have the approach that would be conducive to my being dominant and his role of being submissive.
It is an odd thing, but as a female dominant, I truly do have a sixth sense about where a man is coming from. I can sense a fake submissive miles away. If a man is a switch, that is fine -- as long as submissiveness is truly a part of his nature, I can understand if he also has a dominant side. I respect and understand that.....
But if a man does not genuinely have submissive tendences inside his true heart, I simply do not want to deal with him.
It's all very understandable.
But I realized that I really have changed, over time, and am harder to reach -- for new people, not for those who have sessioned with me before -- and often simply do not respond to total strangers any more.
For me to love domination, it must be driven by a true sense of the female as dominant. No game-playing. No under-estimating of mistress. Under-estimating my intelligence is a common male problem and has happened since my childhood, so I do have patience with the man who simply is not paying attention -- up to a point.
So this is a more sober email than some of my other blog entries, because I feel a shift in my work as a pro domme. I don't care about sessioning just for the sake of it. If the submissive man does not somehow find a way to appeal to me, he has a choice of many other pro dommes, many of whom are probably quite enthusiastic about domination. I advise any man who does not feel like the right "vibe" with me to pursue other dommes.
I'm not a bitch. But I'm a bit like a man in many elements of my personality (while still being a hetero woman, so go figure how nature gifted me a bit weirdly, oh well!). One of the things I really enjoy is when a submissive man gets that sense of my male side, because it can be rather weird or intoxicating for a man to realize he is with a woman who is just like him, in her mind -- hard enough, tough enough, clearly spoken without emotional baggage -- and yet, teases him as only a woman can.
Mistress is extremely thankful for all the good clients I've dominated over the years. But I am shifting. I am pulling back a bit from having a marketed, advertising public presence, from strangers, from anything that requires too much patience on my part, because I don't really need it. I have been fortunate to be busy and contented. It's simply not as easy to get an appointment with me as it once was, and that's simply how things are.
Life is really, really good. I value my time and experience and do not parcel it out without forethought.
I hope all the good submissive men who know Me are having a WONDERFUL summer! I've been seeing some of you this summer and enjoying disciplining your sore, red asses -- time flies! Take care--
Mistress Aubrey Enjoying the Bounty of This Life
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Posted by Domina Aubrey at
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I am glad the hot weather is letting up a bit, today -- it is not conducive to having a HOT session if you, yourself, are uncomfortably hot. I enjoy sweat, but when it rolls into my eyes, the salt of the sweat has a kind of sting that Mistress does not typically enjoy. Trust me, dears, I found this out the hard way. I never exercise in the heat and so was unfamiliar with sweat in my eyes until a recent session conducted in the heat of noonday (the only time the client could session) on what turned out to be a warm steamy day.
Mistress is not a submissive herself, so the pain of salty sweat in eyes does not put Me into a happier frame of mind, ha ha ha.
But generally, the fun of sessioning makes it all worth it. Sublimely.
Yes, Mistress has had some fun sessions lately. Spanking enthusiasts seem to realize there is a big difference between a lady who will spank you and a lady who ENJOYS spanking your tight ass.
Yes, Indeed.
A recent spankee was kind enough to bring me a gift. Knowing that I like vintage things, he brought a vintage candy box that has the kind of old timey vibe that he knew I would like. It was sweet! Thank goodness there were no original chocolates left, or I think the box would have exploded when I opened it..... The only explosions I like best are the ones that I create with my own hands!
I'm attaching the photo, expecting it will be small enough to fit, and happy to thank the dear client for his thoughtful gift.
There is nothing like the teasing and tempting feeling of Mistress's fingernails running down your back.
And.... I get to play with my own fingertips any damned time I choose. Just running my own fingernails down my arm raises goodbumps. My fingernails have a power all their own, even on Me. Isn't that an unfair fact of life? Email a comment to this posting if you like the photo....
Mistress Aubrey
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Posted by Domina Aubrey at
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Just wanted to mention I approved a comment for my Interrogation blog entry but the author of the comment suggested that I hold out as a motivator the idea of a discounted session or promise of pushing limits.
What the ...? I push limits all the time.....
But of course there are no discounted sessions in Mistress Aubrey's world. Never, nunca, not my style.
Boys can always dream, though, so I enjoy hearing the thoughts of genuine people.
I am going to try to attach a photo to this comment. I would like to start adding photos to My blog. Visuals are important, aren't they?
But I need to get my lazy self together and TAKE some new photos first.
OK, for some reason this photo below is coming out HUGE. So huge that each and every wrinkle on my foot appears to be about five inches long. Thank goodness this was shot with a good photographer & excellent clarity. But still.... how to make it fit better? I love the Giantess fantasy, but this is ridiculous.
Mistress Aubrey
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Posted by Domina Aubrey at
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A long-term client of mine, probably one of my first professional clients years ago, had not had a session in quite some time. He has been fighting a few challenges, and I had encouraged him to take some steps to turn his life around a bit. Not to be too dramatic, but this dear boy really did need to work on some things in himself, from finding employment to controlling some unhelpful life impulses.
Well, the day came where he felt he was ready (and financially able) to session again. He is unusual in that, because he lives in downtown Chicago and does not own a car, long ago we got into the habit of my doing outcall to his home. (This is not something I do very often, and never do with strangers.) It was fun to think of things I could do to him in our session. Since it had been really a long time, I felt I, too, had gone through enough changes since our last session that I thought, Hmmmm, I really don't feel like dressing up in a "domme" outfit. I'll just surprise him and show up wearing some tight jeans and relaxed t-shirt. After all, he typically would greet me at the doorman's desk at the front of his building in a loose tshirt and non-descript pants. I think he was even wearing just raggedy shorts and a t shirt one time. At any rate, I decided I felt like wearing "street clothes" and not bringing out my more sexually suggestive clothing.
Imagine my surprise, when I showed up at his building to find him waiting in the lobby looking like a completely different man -- in a very nicely-made, tailored business suit, complete with black, shiny wingtips, and a striped tie. His hair was combed, he did not have a cigarette dangling from his hand, and he was standing up straight.
I cannot tell you, my reader, how pleased I was to see the changes in him. Imagine his surprise, then, when we were about to start the session and I said, "Just as you surprised me with your business suit, I'm surprising you -- and maybe even disappointing you, ha ha -- by not having anything else to wear, just these jeans and t shirt." We both had to laugh at our mutual flip in clothing -- I was used to being the one sharply dressed up in black, severe dominatrix-wear and he was the sloppy one, and now we were reversed, in a mutual effort to surprise each other!
He had also gained a few pounds, so his frame was not so wan and thin. A man who is too skinny is not a happy sight.
But, no matter how pleased I was at his progress, I then turned to discipling him. "Take that nice suit off!" I ordered. He complied quickly and willingly. I had looked forward to a long, slow, gradual build up of a spanking. I had brought just the right tools. A soft leather slapper to warm his ass up. Then some harder toys which, under my experienced hand, would bring up the pain, then let it loosen, then hard again, then a reprieve.... then the unknown, with his not knowing which direction I would take. I took it to the "ouch!' level, because I wanted him to really get a strong ass punishment.
He called out the safety word "yellow" near the end of the session. But I knew he could handle more. He's got his wimpy moments, so I did not hold it against him.
How could I? He was a good, obedient boy who has learned some life lessons the hard way and who, still through it all and through some very harsh words from myself along the way, including a refusal to even let him call or email until he got himself in a better place, still and all, the boy is devoted to his domme. And as long as he stays on an upward path, I can be genuinely proud of him.
And, if he merits it, I am happy to show him the ropes, so to speak, as a harsh disciplinarian and task master. After all, the boy needs discipline. Nothing could be plainer.
Mistress Aubrey
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Posted by Domina Aubrey at
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I am enjoying the spring season a lot -- respectful submissive men start to feel the need for discipline when the winter breaks for the longer sunlight and warmer temperatures of spring.
This is a good thing for Mistress Aubrey!
I have recently had several fun and exciting sessions in which I was able to let loose and administer some much-deserved pain onto the deserving asses of submissive men. I don't care what the rest of the world thinks is "normal" or not -- all I know is that when I see a nice-looking man, I know I'd like to take him over my knee, pull his pants down and show him that I can make him cry out and not in a good way.
Ha ha ha, isn't that mean of Me?
On my last trip to New York, as usual, I picked up a few more spanking toys. But honestly, by now, my collection nearly exceeds my capacity to find room for all of my paddles. I keep my leather paddles separate from the rubber ones, and the wooden paddles run the gamut from ones that are too thick and heavy for most clients to want to get near, to ones that are almost soft wood to the touch, that cradle in my petite hand nicely.
Leather paddles run from those with a hard, steel rod inside them -- deceptive -- to those that are flippity and floppity when I whack them across your ass. I like them all, for their own individual "touch", ha ha ha.
Those who make Me smile are very memorable to Me. Even if I am firm with you, that doesn't mean I am not observing every little detail about you, and for all you know, I might be remembering our session later with a half-smile playing across my lips. As I remember your jolts of pain and quivers of nervousness..... and cries of genuine discomfort when I spank your ass.
Now, I wouldn't indulge in memories of my sessions, now would I? Kind of like running fine wine over the tongue, sharp and sweet at the same time? Such memories.... isn't Mistress too much of a hard ass to indulge such enjoyable memories in her moments of leisure?
Mistress Aubrey
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Posted by Domina Aubrey at
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This past week, among other things, I had the opportunity to meet a very nice, obedient and respectful new client. His mind was extremely, extremely active -- the kind of person who probably can have four thoughts simultaneously. I, on the other hand, sometimes forget what I am wearing and have to look down to be reminded, ha ha. (Don't worry, I've been like this since childhood. A game I used to play in my mind when bored in class in school was to look forward at the teacher and blackboard and try to remember exactly every article of clothing I was wearing, even down to whatever necklace and jewelry I wore. Rarely could I recall, head to toe, what I was wearing. Sad, right? ha ha ha). So while his mind was fast-moving, I would not say I think at warp speed. I am smart, but not ultra fast.
Anyhow, enough about Me. Or IS IT?
Ha ha ha. I took him over my knee (over my ample lap to be more precise) on my futon couch. It was a nice afternoon -- cool but chilly and pleasant -- not warm enough yet to open up the windows. Cozy. It was nice and cozy to have his nice, well-shaped ass right there, to be spanked. I warmed him up but planned on saving my harder spanking for the Spanking Horse in the other room.
It was a lot of fun running my eyes and fingertips over his body -- he was fortunate, I did not see the need to put him in restraints because he settled down and seemed to pay attention quite well. Whether he was aware of it or not, I had some wrist restraints waiting on a nearby chair, in case he lipped off to me. He was a very engaging talker and got me laughing.
After showing some early wimpiness in his incapacity to take very much nipple torture, he redeemed himself by not whining or complaining as I got in some good whacks on his ass.
I ordered him get up, so that we could go into the next room, where I wanted to test his ass's capacity for some serious pain.
When I got him up on the futon couch, what did I see but a somewhat disappointed slave, wishing he might still be on my lap.
Does TEASE AND DENIAL mean nothing to the good slave? He does as mistress tells him. And he is thankful for being in her good graces.
Pleasant as my exterior might be, beneath is a rather cold, mean lady who hides pretty well behind the more personable exterior. I wanted the boy a bit disappointed. I wanted him to realize this was what I wanted.
But then he begged off on the idea of a wooden paddle!&@#!!! My ears rang in disappointment.
I understood. But still and all, a genuine slave should be willing to test his limits, no? I then made him masturbate, poor thing. I suspect by this point he was half thinking I was a bitch and half wondering why I was treating him like he was just a slave.
Ah well, it is all in a day's entertainment for Me.
And let me add that as we are approaching the Easter holiday, I shall hope that all good submissives obediently work on their submissive to the great Owner in the sky, ha ha ha.
After all, aren't all of us here by the graces of you-know-who? Even those of us who have the pleasure of BDSM play and who are wise enough to come to a professional for that play?
Yes. You know I am right.
Mistress Aubrey
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Posted by Domina Aubrey at
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I have the unusual luxury of sessioning in my own domestic space, so I sometimes forget the fun of and distractions of sessioning in a professional dungeon environment.
Having just come back from another FABULOUS trip to my second-favorite city, I was reflecting on the differences between dominating in a dungeon and dominating in a more relaxed setting.
First of all, when you walk into a dungeon sessioning space, it is awesome. The dungeons I session in while away from home have a variety of rooms, but my favorite is probably the most typical dungeon room. Its walls are painted black, there is a massive cross on the wall, a large wall mirror reflects back what happens in the room, the absence of windows and black walls make you feel you're in a private cave, and you know you are in a fantasy world. That is all pretty cool.
But other things come along with it. A long walk up the stairs when the elevator is broken or, something I've also done, a walk downstairs into a basement environment where there is a bit of water on the cement hallway floor due to the ancient building and rains. It's fun and interesting but.... different. One dungeon I session in has a really wide variety of rooms, from an Oriental Splendor space, to a medieval-like space, a medical room with chrome, medical furniture and bright lighting, to a traditiona red-and-black designed room.
In each dungeon I've visited, I usually realize, "Their furniture and rooms are excellent, but my own implement collection is superior." My own paddles usually far exceed the ones that the dungeon has hanging up on a board in the room. Makes me feel good about all of the funds I've spent over the years on some solid, effective discipline tools.
Once the session gets rolling, it's just as fun as when I'm in my usual domestic setting. But this time, we were aware there was another session going on in the session room next door, because you could hear very loud thuds. It sounded like someone was being kicked right into the wall, but at least the submissive man held his screams, because while we could hear the loud thuds, we were spared his cries of agony.
And if the room heat is too strong, you keep the door cracked open for some cool air..... dungeons really do each have their own physical space issues.
So now, when I'm sessioning in my beautiful space on a warm spring afternoon, I'm really not going to worry too much if the sub is sweating. Next time, I'll just say, "Thank your lucky stars that you're not up in a dungeon with the heating turned on high, ha ha ha".
Ultimately, of course, I prefer my own space.
But I LOVE the different experiences I have the privilege of having, as a professional dominatrix. After over four years of professionallly sessioning, it is still loads of FUN, excitement, unpredictable interactions with submissive, obedient clients, and an exploration of the power dynamics of my own dominance and the man's submission.
It is a very fulfilling thing for me. All thanks to the submissive men who have the guts to session with me and develop long-term connections with me as a domme. Life has to be about finding those connections that fulfill you.
Or else, what's it all about?
Mistress Aubrey, back in her home domaine
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